Real Talk for New Mums: Debunking Common Advice

Whether you’re newly pregnant, about to pop, have a fresh baby on the outside, or have a toddler running around your house getting into everything, this post is for you! If you’re a dad, you may find some sneaky tips here as well, but you might not be able to relate to everything as much as us mums… sorry guys!

We’ve all heard them… everyone’s ‘top tips’ of advice they give you when they find out you are going to, or have just had a baby. I am guilty myself for giving them. But I had NO IDEA what I was in for, or what would actually have been helpful until I was there myself. I will share a few of my favourites, that I will debunk, or give tried and tested true credit for being useful. I have split this blog post into several parts, as there are just so many tips, and I have so much to say about them all!

‘Sleep when the baby sleeps.’

The amount of times I have heard this one… I am sure you have as well! My own mother was the first to share this knowledge. When I heard it, I thought it was pretty sound advice. From what I have heard, new babies sleep A LOT! So sleeping when they did seemed like a great idea. But oh was I wrong!

I read a funny quote on Pinterest, it said, ‘Sleep when the baby sleeps. Fold laundry when the baby folds laundry.’ I couldn’t help but laugh, as now having a toddler I can relate. When babies are little, and you’re recovering from birth and pregnancy, yes, sleeping when they do is an amazing idea. But as life goes on, maternity leave ends for dad, and the naps become less, it gets much harder to just drop down for a nap whenever your child does. I have heard napping while driving is frowned upon, or so some say.

Here is how I have managed this one. When your baby is fresh, yes, SLEEP WHEN THEY DO! If you’re breastfeeding, sleep while they do that too! Honestly, just sleep as much as you can! Because once the 4-month sleep regression hits, and then teeth start coming (OMG I HATE TEETHING!), life and sleep get a bit hectic. Bank up on it while you can. Also, try and master the art of power napping. Somehow my husband can close his eyes for 5 minutes, and wake up a new man… Lucky him! I am yet to discover how to do this one myself.

Once your baby is older, the naps are decreasing, and the jobs are building up around the house, spend 10-15 minutes of each nap working through a list of things you need to do. But by all means, if your child is asleep still after that, go and have a power nap! You will thank me at 1 am when you’re up with your child for what seems like the hundredth time because their teeth are cutting, or they have gas. Plus, you’ll still be (slowly) ticking through that to-do list, which is always a big productivity bonus.

Sleep while you’re pregnant, you won’t get much of it once the baby arrives.’

HAHA! Has anyone here been pregnant before? Here are a few reasons why I find this one so funny…

• Peeing 400 times every night. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating, maybe at least 10 times every night! I was seriously considering adult nappies at one stage, just to save me the horrible process of having to climb out of the pillow fort I built myself to waddle to the toilet.

• Having such horrible acid reflux you have to sleep sitting up and eat anything and everything that manages to suppress it. I swear I was a fire-breathing dragon while I was pregnant with my little man. Newsflash, my child was born with a TON of hair! Some say it’s an old wives’ tale, but still… The acid reflux was NEXT level! Also, sleeping sitting up is SO uncomfortable!

• You’re always hungry, especially in the middle of the night. It takes a lot of fuel to grow a human! Then you eat, and guess what? The acid reflux is back again! It’s a vicious cycle really.

• You have to have 5 pillows around your body (said pillow fort mentioned above) to try and combat your awkward size and the aches and pains of pregnancy. Getting comfortable is very rare indeed.

• You also have a human inside of you, just in case you weren’t sure what pregnancy was. As soon as you stop moving, they decide it's time to wake up and do their morning aqua aerobics. Have you ever tried to sleep with a tiny gymnast rolling around inside of you?

• Pregnancy insomnia! This is an actual thing. I am not sure if it is the hormones, or the fact that you have to get this growing human out of you and spend most of the night contemplating every way that can happen, or that you’re just uncomfortable? Either way, you spend so many nights laying there exhausted, wondering why sleep just won’t come.

While all of these reasons stop you from sleeping while pregnant, I do have a way around this. Nap in the daytime! For some reason, I was always exhausted during the day, but I could actually fall asleep, and hard! Make a point to schedule a nap in when you can. I went so far as to shower, put pjs on and get into bed under the blankets in a dark room. Giving yourself the extra bit of sleep will definitely pay off while your body is working so hard.

TOP TIP ALERT! Since we’re on the topic of pregnancy insomnia… If you find yourself really unable to sleep after trying for hours in bed, get up and start making and freezing some meals you can use in the postpartum days. Or even just prep some snacks and food you can have that week. Make that ‘insomnia time’ useful for yourself in the future. Added bonus, you’ll get that midnight snack as well if you do this! I promise your future self will thank you for it.

‘You need to stick to a sleep schedule from the beginning.’

Ahh, sleep training… if you don’t know much about it, give it a google. Basically, it is guiding your newborn baby into some kind of routine to make their sleep be scheduled and in the long term build up good sleep habits.

Look, I am not against sleep training, but I also don’t use it now. I was one of those mums that tried to plan out a whole routine every day. What time to feed, pump, change every nappy, lay them down for a nap, wake them up from a nap etc. But I found, more often than not, we had days when our schedule got completely thrown upside down. I found myself getting so frustrated because of it. A friend sent me a link to a sleep group that was about letting go of all expectations of your child’s sleep, and just managing what they are doing naturally on their own and working around that. Once I let go of the control, I felt so much better. Instead of being exhausted on the bad days, I was happy on the good days. I took every moment as it came, and stopped putting expectations on myself and my son. We found our own way eventually. You also really learn to know your child, and understand their wants and needs if you listen. Yes, it’s that mum superpower of being able to tell what every noise or cry means.

This is just part 1 of this blog post. I hope you have found my input useful, or at least it's given you a bit of a chuckle because you can relate. If you are enjoying my blog posts so far, please subscribe on our website by entering your email. This way we can send you the new blog updates every week, direct to your inbox. How cool is that?

Also, did you know that you can comment below? Please share any ‘top tips’ that you have, or that you have received in the comments with us. I can’t wait to hear them from you!

Good luck this week mamas, you’ve got this!

Boss Mama xx